The Core Wound of Unworthiness
- Lucas Segeren
- 3 days ago
- 2 min read
Are you familiar with the sense of not being good enough or unworthy?
This is a pervasive sense in our modern society, and it often goes under the radar.
It's fueled by a combination of factors, which continuously sabotage us.
The truth is that unworthiness is a story that we identify with and continuously tell ourselves.
"I'm not good enough.”
"I have to earn love.”
"I'm behind in life.”
"I have to be perfect.”
The list goes on…
These stories are rooted deeply in our minds, nervous system, and culture.
When the core wound of unworthiness impacts us, it means we are identified with a form of toxic shame.
We feel as though no matter what we do, we'll never be good enough.
It seems like a very believable story too. Many people never question it and are stuck with it from birth to death.
To make it simple, there are 3 core things going on here.
1️⃣ We identify with the stories and beliefs about being unworthy. These beliefs are an attack on our identity.
These stories literally make up our sense of who we are in the world and continuously impact how we feel about ourselves and how we act. They need to be made conscious, challenged, and let go of.
2️⃣ We have repressed our shame and struggle to process the feeling of it. When our shame is unconscious, it easily gets directed toward who we are.
Essentially, we judge ourselves because we don’t want to feel our shame and we want to feel love and approval instead.
This inner critic is such a foundational element of our toxic shame and sense of unworthiness. Ultimately, it wants to feel safe, loved, and approved of, but it’s caught in a dysfunctional and unconscious pattern.
3️⃣ Our nervous system has these beliefs and emotions buried in it. We need to be more embodied.
This means we need to learn how to feel and inhabit our bodies instead of being dissociated, numb, and avoidant of our body.
Do you feel like you live inside your body, or are you stuck in your thoughts? Do you feel connected to your body? Are you able to feel your heart and gut? Are you always physically tense? Are you aware of the physical sensations occurring in your body right now?
This disconnect between our awareness and our body leaves us in unconscious and habitual patterns that continuously sabotage our lives and create suffering. The good news is that we can break free.
The core wound of unworthiness isn’t a curse. It’s a sign that something deeper needs to be made conscious, accepted, and truly cared for. A part of you needs love and has been deprived of love for a long time.
This love needs to come from your True Self. It needs to come from making your experience conscious and accepting it instead of struggling against it. It needs to come from seeing the truth about yourself and simply being present with yourself.
If you’d like to go deeper, I’m doing 1-1 and group coaching.
Click the links below to check them out.
1-1 Coaching (Highly Transformational and Deep):
Group Coaching (Join a Small and Safe Group Dedicated to Transformation):
Thanks for reading,
Lucas
